JOKE TIME !

WAG LAITIN ANG JOKE Q HUH ! AHAHHA

PASAHERO: manong my bayad po ba bata?

DRIVER: wala..

PASAHERO: eh kapag kandong?

DRIVER: wala din..

PASAHERO: oh anak, upo ka.. kakandong ako sau.. ^_^


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JUAN: Pangarap kong kumita ng half a million sa isang buwan gaya ni tatay!

PEDRO: WOW! ganyan kalaki kinikita ng tatay mo sa isang buwan?!

JUAN: HINDI! ganyan din ang pangarap nia!


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Dalawang langaw sa ibabaw ng tae.

Langaw 1 : Pare, Parang nauutot ako.

Langaw 2 : Pare, wala nmng bastusan kita mong may nakain eh.


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Pitong (7) Katotohanan sa MUNDO
1. Laht ng Nkikita mo ay d iyo.
2. Di mo kayang bilangin ang buhok mo.
3. Di lahat ng ngipin ay maabot ng Dila mo.
4. Sinusubukan ng tanga ang pangatlo
5. Ang pangatlo ay mali
6. Mapapangiti ka kasi mukha kang tanga.
7. Alam ko tlaga na ginwa mo yung pangatlo
wag kna magkaila..

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Sa Isang Jeep

Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?

Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum

Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver. Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa Driver Yung Pera.

Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.

Driver: Kulang Ito!

Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?

Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.

Patay! Akala Mo Lusot Kana ha?


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-Isang Eroplano Nag Crush Patay lahat ng pasahero sabi ng mga Survivor....
-Basurero Nagsampa ng Kaso Binasura....
-Bakla Sumali sa Away Napasuboo....
-Mulawin sumampid !
-Pandak na madre napagkamalang PENGUIN !
-Ice man nanuod ng porno naginit !
-Tindero ng Gulaman namatay sa uhaw !

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Carlo : junior! bili ka ng skats tape ung tig-piso.
Machu : Sige po kuya.

( Sa tindahan ni Manong Keekhay )

Machu : Pabili po!
Manong Keekhay : ano un 'toy?
Machu : may skats tape po ba kayo, ung tig-piso?
Manong Keekhay : meron 'toy.
Machu : Magkano po?


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Population policies of countries:

China: Stop at 1 child.
Singapore: Stop at 2 children
Philippines: STOP AT 4 A.M.!


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Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!


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Husband: Parati na lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!

Wife: Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!

Husband: Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!

Wife: Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!


Misis: Hudas ka! lagi kang umuuwing lasing. Naaasar na tuloy ako sa mukha mo.

Mister: Pero mahal, kung hindi ako lasing, ako naman ang maaasar sa mukha mo!

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Pulis: Bayad ko sa kape, o.

Intsik: Aba, bakit ka bayad?

Pulis: Utos ng police chief namin, wala nang kotong.

Intsik: Aba sige, simula ngayon hindi na ako dura sa kape mo.


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Dalawang mag-barkada nag-uusap:

Mike: Bakit lumaki yung paa ni Amy?

Jun: Sinipa yung punso!

Mike: Bakit lumaki yung nguso ni Fe?

Jun: Dinuraan yung punso. O pare saan ka pupunta?

Mike: Iihi sa punso!

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>
> Pedro: Galing ako as doktor, nakabili na ko ng hearing aid.
>Grabe! Ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!
> Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili MO?
> Pedro: Kahapon lang

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IGN: `_`oLraK`_`
Skul: SG
Class: Fighter

Nice jokes
Kaso wrong section dapat sa off topic section toh

oh sori !

Ok lang kakatawa naman mga joke mo eh

KULANG P NGA YAN EE !!

SA SU2NOD DA2MIHAN Q !!

ahahahahahahah natatawa ako ehehehehe aw pero in fairness ok ha...

AHAHAH AKO NGA RIN HBANG NAG TTYPE TAWA NG TAWA AHAHAHA

AHAHAHAH AHAHAHA

AHAHAH AKO NGA RIN HBANG NAG TTYPE TAWA NG TAWA AHAHAHA

AHAHAHAH AHAHAHA

ung isa nkalagay, hindi lahat ng ngipin maabot ng dila mo??

ano bang ngipin tinu2koy mo??

EDI NGIPIN MO TGNAN MO KUNG ABOT LAHAT NG DILA MO ANG NGIPIN MO

na try ko na abot nmn lahat e..

oh bka nmn pti singit singit kasama??

o TPOS BSAHIN MO UNG PANG APAT !

AHAHAHA

Hahahahah ginawa bang tanga si Luster

Nice one

tlgang ganun dapat mkisabay sa topic...

e pano ba nmn wla nmn ako na contribute na joke e hahaha

Eto contribution ko

Kaso english nga lang

kuha nalang kau agad ng bulak
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

SilverEdge wrote:

Eto contribution ko

Kaso english nga lang

kuha nalang kau agad ng bulak
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

You are now going to jail!!

Nakakatawa naman eh

oo nga nagets ko nmn e

ako try ko mg post bukas...

pag iisipan ko pa "bka kc pagtawanan nyo ko pag corny e"

Un ang purpose ng joke ang magpatawa

Either makapagpatawa dahil sa joke or sa kacornyhan ng joke ^^

cge bukas mg popost ako sket na kc ng mata ko e pahinga na ko

see ya' mr. SMARTICLE ahaha

hehehehehe

SilverEdge wrote:

hehehehehe

mamaya na ung joke ko nalimutan ko na ung script hahaha

Unconventional ways of CPR

There were 5 brothers, Sam, Jack, Chris, Kyle and Teejay. The four of them were playing hockey in their backyard but, instead of using the usual vulcanized rubber disc called a puck
They used a basket ball. Now one of them accidentally shove the ball of their yard to Mrs. Riley's yard(the crotchetty old neighbor).They went inside the old lady's yard because the ball that they were using has a sentimental value to their father..They'd knew that their father was gonna kill them so, they look through the broken mirror where the ball went in. They went inside the house where Mrs. Riley caught them, she thought that they were burglars and they gave her a heart attack. Kyle thought that they killed the old lady. So, Chris called the emergency hotline and ----- DIALOGUE

Chris: Old lady DOWN!! Old lady DOWN!!

Operator: Calm down calm down, now tell me what exactly happened?

Chris: She suddenly went unconscious and .. and she looks dead

Operator: All right then, just calm down and check her pulse

Chris: She said check her purse(he misheard).. her purse!

Jack: What?? Her purse??

Kyle and Teejay: it's empty!

Chris: OH! OH! it was pulse

Jack: nothing!

Operator: Does someone know how to do proper CPR?

Chris: CPR .... Yeah we know

Operator: Give her CPR and i'm gonna call an ambulance

Chris: We need to give here CPR

Jack: What as in mouth to mouth?? ... NO WAY!! i'm not gonna do it

Chris: Well ... NO!

Jack: Kyle you do it!

Kyle: No way!! i'm not gonna put my mouth on that old witch! Teejay do it!

Teejay: Well your the one who gave her a heart attack

Chris: The old lady's dieing we need to do something fast

Jack: *looks around*Oh give me that magazine! *blows through the magazine through the old lady*

Chris: Nothings happening

Teejay: How about we use the bike pump!!?

Chris: Yeah great!!

Jack: Kyle give me the pump *starts pumping air on the old lady's mouth*

Jack: We can't do this..

Chris: Well why not??

Jack: If we keep pumping air in her mouth ... Well, probably she'll blow .. like a balloon

Kyle: That would be awesome!

Jack: *looks around again and sees a toilet plunger* Give me the toilet plunger!

Kyle: *passes the toilet plunger*

Chris: Well?

Jack: I pump the air in her ... you use the plunger to push her chest and get the air out

Chris: *nods stupidly*

Jack: Did you get that?? ...... Ok here it goes *PUMP PUMP PUMP*

Chris: *unclog? unclog? unclog?*

Mrs. Riley: *slowly gains consciousness*

Boys: Move away from the old lady *scared*

Mrs. Riley: Boys you saved my life!!

maya na ung iba bka corny na 2 e d ko muna 2loy hahaha

Maya na may download pa ko tsaka na ko babalik